原来不是我不想说，而是没有人让我说。。。
it's not that I dun wish to talk, it's just me having no one to talk.

counterpain....

physical pain cannot be used to counter the pain in the heart...
that's what i learned today. physical pain is only a temporary relief.... makes u forget the other, but only for that few seconds.

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burying oneself in work works..... but when all the work is cleared, everything goes back to it was b4. can i stop working? coz i am really tired of making myself smile or laugh in front of others. maybe i need to go away on another vacation.

just me, the sun and the waves crashing on the beach.....
maybe some alcohol to knock myself out for a few days.....

help me......

the trip was a total disaster. not only was i not more relaxed, i feel like i want to kill myself even more. i really dunno wat to do anymore. no one to talk to abt my things. i need a hug. really need to feel some warmth from a friend. but there is no one for me.

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i remember something i read about depression. it said that people who want to kill themselves would not say they want to kill themselves to anyone. so am i considered to be in depression?

if this is a cry for help, would u lend a hand?