scary thoughts again.....

today suppose to have soccer game but due to the rain, it was cancelled. so now i am left with plenty of time and nothing to do.....

for the past week, when i have nothing to do, i keep having some strange thoughts. half of me is telling me to go to bukit merah to see her(even if its just seeing her through her window). the other half is deterring me with the consequence if i do it.

the last time i did it, she was quite disturbed by my behaviour. i think it became kind of psychotic. i was like stalking her. i dun usually do that but i believe it could have something to do with my family problems. something happened within my family and i do not wish to face it. and my form of escape is to stay away from home...

i am having an internal struggle now. coz i need to go out to get something done and i am afraid i will do something impulsive(eg. go over to her place).

p.s: its strange but i got this niggling feeling she has already discovered this blog of mine...